God Help Us! ...Thoughts on Life & Living

Abortion is driving me nuts.

2008-11-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

So, I've been following the elections and reading about the elections and talking with friends about the elections and, recently, voting in the election. (Amen.) And one of the topics that is really getting me lately is the topic of abortion. In particular, how abortion is being framed as a priority Christian political issue.

First, you should probably know how I feel about Christians and politics. It is my interpretation of the gospel of Jesus Christ that, for citizens of a democracy, involvement in the political process is a part of living our faith. 2 reasons:

1) Jesus' instruction to "give to Caesar what is Caesar's." In an imperial government like the one Jesus lived in, this meant to offer to the government what is asked, knowing that it is not yours anyway but God's. Since we, however, live in a democracy--a government for the people, by the people--we are the nation's leaders...its "Caesars" if you will. Thus, we are called to respond to our nation, which invites us to offer our wisdom, input, and influence by, in this case, VOTING for responsible representatives to lead directly on our behalf and by remaining connected to those and other co-leaders and the systems they coordinate as we continue to hold them responsible to the nation's welfare.

2) As disciples of Christ, we are asked to reach out to those in need--to feed, clothe, visit, share. We can do this directly; we can also do this through the aforementioned influence we have as voting citizens in a representative democracy. We can advocate for access to health care, for affordable housing, etc., as a way of making life better for the "least of these."

But we were talking about abortion. I do think abortion laws and rights are a political issue that Christians should be concerned about. I have complicated feelings about abortion. I don't like the idea of it. I'm not crazy about the reality of it, either. But having sat with people who decided to have an abortion and being with them as I believe Jesus would, I could not help but respond to the hurt and loss and fear and anguish they were feeling as more important than whether they had made a good decision. Because as far as I'm concerned, it's a sucky decision. It's bad to have to make it, and from what I hear, it's worse living with it. But somehow, it was the best decision they knew how to make at the time. And once it's done, people still need love, healing, and a way to move forward. Before it's done, people need someone to talk to, clear and compassionate discussions of the options before and after having sex, and the resources to make the best case-specific decision.

Thus, my first Christian responsibility is to address the person and the circumstances surrounding the person who finds themselves facing the decision about whether or not to have an abortion. It's such a profoundly serious and heart-rending place to find oneself, as a disciple of Christ, I feel called to walk with the person--praying with and for them and helping them seek out and search for options and help. And for those persons for whom abortion is not profoundly serious and heart-rending, then I am called to walk with that person to offer them another way of looking at the sanctity of their own lives, bodies, and relationships.

As for my responsiblity as a Christian citizen of the United States, then, my call is deeper than simply voting for the candidate who is against abortions. I could do this if the candidates who opposed abortion also opposed other things that destroyed life...except I haven't run across one. What I keep seeing is candidates who speak beautifully about the sanctity of life as it relates to unborn children, but carefully overlook the sanctity of the lives of already born children who are arrested in elementary schools, who can't afford to see a doctor, who can't afford good schools. It's okay, for them, to punish the children of welfare recipients who have used up their five years of public assistance by taking away their $396 (in Illinois, at last count)/month. It's okay for manufacturers to pump smoke and pollution into poor neighborhoods, and for Streets and Sanitation to let trash pile up in black and brown neighborhoods. The problem for me is that voting for the candidate who opposes abortion is that my unborn child is the only safe person left in the nation.

And that assumes, as a friend pointed out to me recently, that the candidate actually intends on overturning Roe vs. Wade during his term...which not one of the elected anti-abortion presidents has done to date. In fact, although abortion has been an issue in many of the last several presidential elections, very little has changed around abortion. One could deduce that pro-life is being used as a moral rallying cry to manipulate Christian voters to vote against their other moral interests. As a Christian who is also a member of the only true government in her country--the people--I have a responsibility to do my part, being both wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove about this political process, to protect the vulnerable--born and unborn.

So, I will continue to work toward forming a community and a nation that makes the need for abortion negligible. I have voted for the candidate who best enables me, as the real government, to care for the needs of "widows and orphans"--the abandoned born, as well as speak a word of new life to the "tax collectors and sinners"--those facing screwed up choices in sucky circumstances. Because Jesus didn't stop the exploitation of the taxed by destroying the ability to tax. He did it by noticing, loving, and walking with the exploitative tax collector, until he was changed.

Okay, I'm through for now. Your turn. :-)

The Heart Question

2008-06-10T17:01:00.000-07:00

So, something that's been on my mind lately is whether or not I can trust my heart. I hear a lot that one should "listen to your heart" and "let your heart guide you." When making decisions, "they" say we should trust that inner voice and follow our gut, right? But then there's also that pesky notion that the heart is "desperately wicked" and generally untrustworthy. That basically, if we want it, it's probably not what's best for us. The inner voice is also the one that says, "one more pint of ice cream won't hurt." The latter notion is the one that usually gets credit for being biblical. But I'm reading a book Waking the Dead by John Eldredge that is suggesting that, actually, the Bible sees the heart as a very trustworthy place...in fact, as the place where God in Christ lives in you. The idea that we can't trust our hearts is actually a misunderstanding of the Bible, says Mr. Eldredge. The heart may sometimes get bad advice (from outside voices or from our own negative impulses), but the heart itself is GOOD. Each of us, our hearts are good.

So, I've been mulling this over. I really do want to trust my heart, my inner voice. By the way, I'm thinking of "heart" in the Hebrew way, which I think refers to "the seat of our emotions and intellect." So, I want to be able to trust that God is in my heart now, since being baptized those 20 years ago, and guiding me from my heart. But what I find is that sometimes the broken places in my heart want to run the show. Remembering past hurts, failures, and rejections make me afraid to try new things sometimes. My heart, for example, still feels the pain of being left by people I care about, and so my heart often looks at new people with suspicion...that they too might leave.

But here's what I'm figuring out these days: living from the broken places is an EXHAUSTING way to live. Making decisions based on fear and anxiety just stresses me out more. It gets to the point where I am working so hard to avoid pain, that it's actually causing me pain. And what is the point of that?

So, here's my mission. Operating from the assumption that my heart is good and trustworthy because God is there, I will take more time to see what my heart, my inner voice, my true self is saying these days. I no longer will make decisions from the broken, fearful places in my heart. I will tell those voices that they are important and real, but they do not get decision-making power.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T19:05:00.000-08:00

Greetings! Hope this day finds you well and hopeful about the year to come. I just read a quote by Brian Andreas that says:
"Maybe I don't want a Happy New Year...maybe I want an intense New Year with lots of growth experiences."

Have you thought yet about what kind of new year you want? For those of you who are looking for a growth experience, let me talk to you a little about boundaries.

Boundaries are limits, fences, lines. They set spaces apart and define where one thing ends and another begins. In relationships, setting boundaries allows you to say things like, "no, not yet, or that's not for me" or "yes, thank you, that really works for me." Boundaries are your personal limits on how you want to be treated and how much pain and discomfort you will tolerate from another person.

Some of us have very strict, close boundaries. We are slow to let anyone in our personal space or to share personal thoughts with others. We don't tolerate any discomfort in relationship, so whenever anyone causes us the least bit of irritation or discomfort, we shut them out. This can keep us from forming deep relationships with other people, and maybe close us off from some people who could be good friends if we would open ourselves up to them.

Others of us, however, have loose or no boundaries at all. We let people into our personal space without letting them know how we'd like to be treated. We share our personal thoughts and feelings with others without knowing if they are trustworthy in their other relationships. We tolerate a lot of pain and discomfort, more than we want to or know is right, just to keep some people around.

Trusting our Creator to provide all our needs requires setting some boundaries with other people. If we trust that God will send us good people to keep us company, then we can set boundaries that allow loving people to get close to us and keep hurtful people from continuing to treat us badly. Strong boundaries could sound like, "Yes, I am upset, and we can talk about it later," or "We can disagree, but I won't tolerate being yelled at or hit." In this way, we say to God, "I trust you to send strong, healthy people into my life. I will not try to control or be passive with others in order to run people off who are meant to stay or keep people around who are meant to move on."

Boundaries are something we develop over time. Something we try out and see if they are healthy and working for us. We'll have to practice them. And for a while they may still be a little strict or a little loose. But working toward healthy relationships is guaranteed to be a growth experience. Consider that as a goal for 2008, and Happy Intense Yet Satisfying New Year.

On Purpose

2007-09-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

People ask me all the time about finding their purpose: how to determine it, how you know it's God telling you and not just your own thoughts, or if you really even have one. With the way many of our days just sort of plod along from school to work to sleep and back again, I can see how it is easy to think there may not be any purpose to it at all.

Here's the thing: we all have purpose. God created humankind in God's own image. We reflect God. And then individually, it gets even better. Think about the things that just make you who you are. I know I have my mom's smile, my dad's nose, my grandmother's eye color and shoe size. But only I have my special brand of humor, my affinity for preaching but not making small talk, and my intense attraction to both interior design and homelessness. We have issues we care about. We have talents that seem like second nature to us but take lots of work for others: singing, studying, compassion, a constant good mood.

Living our purpose involves living out these gifts. It is about being who God made us and how God made us. Not who other people think we should be, but who we really are. And to go all out for those things that God has given us to care about. Moses cared about freedom for the children of Israel, and (after a little prodding from God) he went all out for it. Ruth cared about Naomi, and went to the mat for her and her family line.

Living our purpose, though, can only be done first by checking in with the Creator. Who would know better why we were made than the One who made us? Now, it can get kind of puzzling figuring out how to listen for Someone who you can't call on the phone or email. And I will say that it still gives me trouble sometimes. But practice makes perfect. Try getting quiet for prayer but not saying anything for a minute or two....see what comes to mind. Someone told me, that our purpose is that thing we can't NOT do. First though, as my brother's sermon suggested today, I would try just asking. Jesus says if we ask in his name, it's done. So ask God straight up: what am I doing here? What's my purpose? What things did You bring me here to accomplish? What have You put in me to live out?

Hey, I'm still discovering mine. Feel free to let me know how your process is going.

Peace.

Topics to Consider

2007-09-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking....in addition to welcoming questions from folks looking for advice, I also want to start posting some thoughts and general commentary from time to time. Stuff we could chew on and maybe even have some fruitful conversation about. You can look forward to that in future posts...and if there are topics you'd like me to consider, feel free to drop a comment.

Peace and Strength to you.

Looking for a Writer

2007-03-09T21:52:00.000-08:00

Anonymous said...
Dear Rev.I am Kevaughn Mattis, 21, Trinidad West IndiesI am in the Process of making an online Journal (Testamentum Imperium) whose 2009 theme will be: Divine Sovereignty in Reformed Theology The aim of the journal is to teach The Perseverance of the Saints in a scholarly way with an irenic spirit.Would you or an esteemed African colleague be able to do the article:The Everlasting Love of God (Devotional)

Kevaughn, thanks for the invitation! Would love to hear more about the journal before I agree, but feel free to leave more info in another comment. I'll publish it, and maybe you'll get some more folks who are interested. Who knows? :)

p.s. For those of you wondering what "irenic" means, it's pretty cool: "favoring, conducive to, or operating toward peace, moderation, or conciliation." There, now use that in your next sentence. :)

Responding to Homosexuality

2007-03-09T21:34:00.000-08:00

Here's one blogger's question:

Anonymous said...
As a Christian, what is your response to homosexuality? Obviously there are issuse with health and safety but what about a monogamous relationship between two Christians, not having sex before marriage (or the closest thing that can be achieved relative to that) and all?

Well, thanks for asking. This is a popular question and topic in our media and political scene today, often perplexing audiences and Christians. To answer your question, I would say my response to homosexuality is love. When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment was, he responded that there were two--and both were to love. But to more fully answer your question, I'd need to know a little bit more...like, is this question related to a specific person in your life or more of a general question? Are you asking if I approve, what I think the church should believe about this, or what I would say to someone who was personally dealing with these issues? Answers to these might help me say more...

Feel free to write back or elaborate. Anyone can weigh in on this, or any other personal issues or questions that have come up for you.

Look forward to more!
Rev A

How to Write Me

2006-10-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

Want to Write Me or Ask Me a Question?

Here are the basic steps:

scroll down to the bottom of any message
click on "# of comments" or "post a comment"
type me a message
click "login and submit"
Come back to see my reply!

Your comment will not appear right away but you can look for a response by the following week. Look forward to hearing from you!

-Rev. Ayanna

Welcome!

2006-09-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

Are you:

trying to live the best life you can?
want to be successful, happy, be good to people, and make money while you are at it...or something like that?
But there are all these issues getting in the way--parents, friends, money, school...
or you just have questions about the best way to navigate this wild ride we call life?

If this is you, I'm glad you found your way here! I can't promise that I have all the answers (because I don't), but I will listen to your questions, pray on the issues, and think with you toward some solutions.

Who is this site for?
Young people, ages 12-21. But if you are a little younger or perhaps a little older--hey, I'd be honored to listen and think and pray with you too.

Who are you?
An ordained Christian pastor and a counselor with a Master's degree in social work.

How do I know you know what you're talking about?
I have about a decade of experience working with youth and children in all kinds of situations--from impossible parents to no parents at all, working on GEDs and PhDs. I'm ready to put some of this experience to work for you.

How do I write you?
See my next post with the title "How to Write Me" for instructions.**

Look forward to hearing from you!

God Bless You,
Rev. Ayanna

**Note: If, right now, you are thinking about hurting yourself or you are in a violent relationship or situation, please call 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-799-SAFE (for domestic violence). You can also always call 911 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room. (Wanting to hurt yourself or fearing that you may be hurt is an EMERGENCY and shouldn't have to wait for a blog response.)